Donald Trump: Embarrassing Republicans Everywhere

Source: memes.doublie.com The Donald on a good-hair day.

Source: memes.doublie.com
The Donald on a good-hair day.

Donald Trump is basically like that embarrassing grandparent, uncle, or neighbor who just doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.

He has no filter, says whatever thought that comes to his head (no matter how ridiculous it may be), and he’s so cray cray, he’s even embarrassing the Republicans.

Now that’s talent.

I’ve written about my, um, disdain (putting it mildly) for The Donald on this blog before when I reviewed the documentary called “You’ve Been Trumped.”  If you haven’t seen this documentary that displays The Trumpster’s dumbassery, please give it a watch and report back. His arrogance and ignorance is so in-your-face it’s almost shocking. But since it’s The Donald, I suppose it’s not really too shocking.

Some critics (which would include the majority of the world’s population) have called Trump “the Republican Id.” I couldn’t agree more with this theory, and here’s why:

1. The Donald says exactly what the stereotypical Republican feels about immigration, but doesn’t usually say out loud. Republicans such as Ted Cruz have been quoted as saying that while they don’t agree with the WAY Trump has said he doesn’t approve of immigration, they agree with his views on immigration. Basically, they’re saying they agree with Trump that Mexicans are rapists…well, wait, what? I mean, they just think that all Mexicans should be deported immediately. Wait, no. They actually mean Mexicans are ruining this country. No, actually, Republicans think the ones here can stay, but we need a wall to keep everyone else from Mexico out. Yeah, that’s it. How will Republicans solve immigration? Uhhh, next question, please. That will get the Latino vote. Let’s stick with that.

2. While most Republican politicians love being rich and helping out their fellow rich friends, many of them try to keep it on the down low (even though reporters are onto their sneaky ways). Trump, however, doesn’t keep quiet about how rich he is. Heck, what’s wrong with flaunting bank statements during his presidential campaign announcement speech? Absolutely nothing.

3. The Donald loves war, and wants to fight everyone, all day, every day. Did you know he has top-secret plans to defeat ISIS? Okay, maybe his plans aren’t so top-secret. But for those who don’t own televisions or phones, his plans of attack on basically every other country on Earth will be a complete surprise!

4. Since Trump is a businessman and a billionaire, he worships huge corporations. They keep him going, they give him money, and they are his life support. What would The Trumpster do without corporations? Probably live a life of darkness. Therefore, he is with the Republicans on their love of big corporations (and belief that corporations are humans). However, through the insight from the documentary, it’s clear that Donald is a bit more proactive about his corporation worship than other Republicans.

5. The Donald has been vocal, like many Republicans who probably haven’t brushed up on basic science, in his beliefs that climate change is a hoax. You know, like aliens. It just hasn’t been proven. About 97 percent of scientists would disagree, but hey, what do they know?

Donald Trump has said too many offensive things that he should have kept to himself, and it’s caused him some trouble. Television channel Univision cut ties with Trump and changed its mind about airing Miss Universe. The channel was not pleased that Trump called Mexicans rapists. The Trumpster was of course, not having any of that. As he always says, he’s planning to sue them for a lot of money.

NBC has also decided to fire The Donald from their network after his racist comments about Mexicans. He’s being dropped like a flaming hot potato. Even though he does have politicians coming to defend him, there are still other fellow Republicans who tell him to calm it down.

You would think all of Trump’s antics would have solidified his epic failure in his hopes for a presidential run. Right?

Wrong. The Donald is LEADING the GOP as of the most recent polls. AKA, Donald “Mexicans are rapists” Trump is number one in the Republican presidential field right now.

Source: makeameme.org

Source: makeameme.org

Mind blown. I just can’t. All I can say is, “Thank God I’m not a Republican.” Also, I am a bit terrified for the future of this country. In conclusion, I just ask that fellow Democrats please vote this election. You all know you don’t want this fruit loop in office.

A Lazy Girl’s Guide to Blogging

Whoops, I was taking selfies instead of blogging.

Whoops, I was taking selfies instead of blogging.

In my first three years of blogging, I have gone through epic blogging lulls of laziness. I have abandoned my poor blog for far too long, too many times. Sometimes I’m busy. Sometimes I’m brainstorming. Sometimes I’m just lazy. Let’s be real.

As a lazy girl (who has come up with plenty of excuses), I would like to present a guide to blogging for all the lazy girls out there:

1. Brainstorm tons of ideas, but don’t write them down. It’s like a game. The “Will I remember that brilliant idea in half an hour?” game. Guess what? You will lose basically 99.999% of the time. But it’s fun to test your memory skills.

Aw man, I forgot all my brilliant blog ideas! Oh well. Let's take another selfie.

Aw man, I forgot all my brilliant blog ideas! Oh well. Let’s take another selfie.

2. Watch YouTube videos for inspiration. Too many videos. Wait, it’s midnight? Aw man, I should go to bed. I’ll blog tomorrow.

Source: viralcrawler.com

Source: viralcrawler.com

By the way, here are some of my favorite blog channels to watch instead of blogging:

The Young Turks

Secular Talk

Jenna Marbles (classic, of course)

3. Why not tweet at one of your favorite YouTubers? Spent too much time crafting a witty tweet. Become too happy when said YouTuber favorites said tweet, and follows you on Twitter.

Can I just say I was pretty stoked when this happened?

Can I just say I was pretty stoked when this happened?

4. Thinking about writing a blog post? Why not take a walk instead? It will not only help with brainstorming, but you will also forget all your ideas along your walk, and you’ll forget your plans to blog anyway.

No makeup? No problem!

No makeup? No problem!

5. Make yourself busy. Friends, work, school, and other activities are obviously time-consuming. Blogging is just something else to do. Don’t worry, you’ll get back to it. Eventually.

Source: pinterest.com Basically my logic.

Source: pinterest.com
Basically my logic.

6. Spread the word that you’re making a comeback. Tweet it, Instagram it, Facebook it, tell your friends.

Source: youtube.com

Source: youtube.com

7. Now you have to stick to your word. No more procrastinating.

Source: elitefitnessmentoring.com

Source: elitefitnessmentoring.com

8. Drink coffee. Lots of coffee. Don’t like coffee? Yes you do. No, you do. You like coffee.

Source: dreamatico.com Coffee makes my life just a little brighter.

Source: dreamatico.com
Coffee makes my life just a little brighter.

9. Write like you’ve never written before. You’ve got this. When in doubt, include more pictures. People like pictures.

Source: blogs.montclair.edu

Source: blogs.montclair.edu

10. Refer back to this list the next time you’re going through the cycle of laziness. You’re not alone. Trust me.

In the meantime, hit up a baseball game or two.

In the meantime, hit up a baseball game or two.

Lily Allen: Humor Done Right

True Life: I’m obsessed with Lily Allen.

Seriously, she is so cool. Lily Allen’s music is ironic, witty, and hilarious. In conclusion, to me she’s a talented satirical songwriter.

I’m so obsessed with Lily Allen that her song “Hard Out Here” inspired my post 15 Reasons why it’s hard out here for a b*tch.

In my last post, I critiqued Thought Catalog author Nicole Mullen’s article “Can We Please Stop Pretending Like We Don’t All Have Racist Songs We Sing In Private?” for its racist themes. After some discussion of the piece, I realized that the author had tagged her article as “humor.”

Source: memegenerator.net

Source: memegenerator.net

That was news to me. See, the key with humor is that it has to be funny. When I read Mullen’s article, I believe she left out the funny. Maybe she tagged it in the category by mistake?

I would advise Mullen in the future to pay attention to someone like Lily Allen and take note. Satire is not easy, which is why I rarely write it. I’d rather accidentally be funny than try it and fail miserably.

Satire is written with absurdity. That’s why a satirical news website like The Onion is so successful.

Lilly Allen’s “Hard Out Here” works because it’s outrageous and in-your-face with its vulgarity. The song discusses the dangerous ways women are still viewed in society today. While the themes are deep and serious, her humor drives the point home that “it’s hard out here for a bitch.”

Allen’s vulgarity works because it’s ironic. She uses derogatory language to illustrate the negative ways in which women are often discussed in the media.

Her lyrics addressing the unhealthy and narrow expectations women face are humorous in the fact that they’re truthful despite the absurdity:

“If you’re not a size six, then you’re not good looking
Well, you better be rich, or be real good at cooking
You should probably lose some weight ’cause we can’t see your bones
You should probably fix your face or you’ll end up on your own.”

While sexism isn’t funny (it’s actually a bunch of BS, to be honest), Allen approached the topic with satire, and that allows for a different perspective and a new way for society to have dialogue about feminism and its importance today.

Could Mullen have taken a similar approach and possibly written a funny article? Maybe. But her attempt was lackluster in my opinion. I had no idea she was attempting satire. I simply thought it was some nut who truly believed that free speech is for racist rants.

I don’t think that we should limit ourselves with the topics we write about. Anyone can write something controversial if he or she wants to. Writing is a world in which we can explore and dig deep. It’s a way of understanding the world we live in.

However, when tackling hot button issues and current events that touch a nerve with people, a writer should show tact and have the right intentions before publishing a piece. Mullen seemed to fail in this regard. I believe that her attempt at a satirical piece was insensitive because her intentions were not clear. While she may have been attempting to make light of the racist chant scandal with the fraternity members in Oklahoma, it appeared to me as a racist intent. If I didn’t know she was writing satire, then I’m sure there were others who didn’t know, either.

This is the main problem I have with the articles Thought Catalog has been publishing as of late. It seems to have become a free-for-all and that the work is a bit sloppy. The articles published are not only questionable in quality, but also worrisome with their intent. While I used to see Thought Catalog as a website that had more upbeat articles, now it’s become a mash-up of unpredictable content with no consistency.

So, to Nicole Mullen, if you ever discover this post:

Source: memecrunch.com

Source: memecrunch.com

People who don’t get it

As writers, we often come across people who don’t “get it.” I’ve written poems to the people who don’t understand art.

Writing is an art that isn’t black and white (thankfully). We can interpret a piece in a million different ways. We can use our life experiences to relate to someone’s work.

However, if we’re the author and someone is misunderstanding our work and blaming us, how should we feel?

Is the problem us, them, or neither party?

Recently I wrote a post about “fire safety,” but it was a metaphor. Do I need to say what the metaphor is?

My assumption is that readers can figure it out.

Right?

That’s my hope, after all.

My hopes were dashed today when I received some rude tweets from someone who clearly didn’t “get it.”

Here’s how it went down:

Her: Did you really sit in your house while it was on fire?

Me: Hahaha, no, it’s a metaphor.

Her: Oh good cause I thought you were really a dumbass.

Source: imgarcade.com She did.

Source: imgarcade.com
She did.

Me: Yeah no. It’s quite clearly not about a real fire. It’s an obvious metaphor…

Her: Well it’s clearly not if I had to ask.

Me: Nah, it’s pretty clear. Maybe you just didn’t get the metaphor?

Her: I guess it’s just not that good.

Source: hellogiggles.com

Source: hellogiggles.com

Me: Well then you don’t have to read it. #thanks #ByeFelicia 🙂

For real, that actually went down.

If I had to give some advice to people out there wondering how to critique a writer’s work, here are some helpful tips:

Rule #1: Don’t call the author a dumbass. I know it’s shocking, but calling anyone a dumbass may come off as rude.

Rule #2: Don’t continue to insult the author. You may come off as hostile.

Rule #3: If you don’t understand the author’s intentions, remember that you didn’t have to read or even reach out.

Rule #4: Be prepared for the author to be offended. The author may not even feel inclined to be overly kind to you. Who would be cheerful after someone just called her a dumbass?

My conclusions from this little Twitter exchange?

Source: memegenerator.net

Source: memegenerator.net

No matter how long you’ve been writing, no matter how educated in the writing field you are, you will have haters. It’s just life. And like T-Swizzle, it’s better to just shake it off (or write a snarky post about it). Whichever works for you. Using whatever inspiration you can find to motivate your writing is something that will help your writing evolve. So maybe we need haters?

 

 

 

 

15 reasons why it’s hard out here for a b*tch

Lily Allen’s tongue-in-cheek single “Hard Out Here” states in no uncertain terms, “It’s hard out here for a bitch,” and the song and music video are, for lack of better words, a kick in the balls.

In classic Allen fashion, she uses humor, profanity, and bubblegum pop sound to tackle serious societal issues. “Hard Out Here” is a feminist take on the double standards for men and women.

While this feminist theme has been covered many times in the past (anyone remember Christina Aguilera and Lil’ Kim’s “Can’t Hold Us Down” circa 2002?), “Hard Out Here” is a perfectly-timed release.

The last couple years have been a losing battle for female equality, and it appears that 2015 could be more of the same.

Blogger Doobster418 at his blog Mindful Digressions broke down the statistics of the 114th Congress, and it’s not pretty. How many women make up Congress, you ask?

20%. Yes. 80% of Congress members are men. America, the land of equal opportunity, has a dismally unequal Congress. I hope I’m not the only one shaking my head.

As Allen writes in her single, “Inequality promises that it’s here to stay/Always trust the injustice cause it’s not going away.” At a time like this, these lyrics clearly describe a country where many citizens are blind to the blatant sexism between men and women.

In honor of the new year, I wrote a post about 15 reasons why being a woman rocks in 2015. Even before typing it, the temptation to rage about the bull women live with was brewing deep in my brain. I knew the post would have a rebuttal. Feminism is a two-sided coin, after all. It’s a movement that is progressive throughout history, and like any other equality movement, the battle is never over.

Here is the post that I’ve been itching to write. The 15 reasons it’s hard out here for a bitch.

1. Two words: pay gap. If you are someone who has a vagina, you will always be paid less than someone with a penis for doing the exact same job. Why? Because you have a vagina, my dear.

2. Bachelor married at 53? Sexy!

Source: express.co.uk

Source: express.co.uk

Bachelorette married at 42? Old hag! (and she must be pregnant!)

Source: eonline.com

Source: eonline.com

3. If you don’t have kids, you aren’t a real woman. You’re a fake woman. Because you are only a womb.

Source: voodoodarling.com

Source: voodoodarling.com

4. But if you do have kids and live in America, you are living in the only developed country without guaranteed paid maternity leave.

Source: thinkprogress.org

Source: thinkprogress.org

5. You could be arrested for having a miscarriage in America. Seriously. If a woman has a miscarriage, it could be interpreted as an attempted home abortion, and she needs to go to court to defend her case. This is the world we live in, folks. Just a reminder: it’s 2015, not 1815.

6. You have two choices:

Saint

Source: philomena.org

Source: philomena.org

Slut

Source: blogs.longwood.edu

Source: blogs.longwood.edu

Yes, those are your only two choices.

7. Ever heard of the Thinspiration movement? It’s an online movement to promote anorexia.

Source: pinterest.com

Source: pinterest.com

Just when society is beginning to turn around and say, “Ladies, you can eat,” the Thinspiration movement takes over the internet to tear women down and make them feel bad about themselves. The movement gives “inspirational” pictures of thin women girls can look to for what they should hope to look like. That sounds healthy.

8. If being anorexic isn’t your thing, fear not! Another movement has threatened to demolish Thinspiration’s popularity. It’s the Fitspiration movement. The exact same thing as Thinspiration, but jamming in the word “fit” to replace “thin.” What’s the difference between “fit” and “thin”? Good question. There’s a blog post for that.

Source: usmagazine.com

Source: usmagazine.com

9. The 90’s was a beautiful decade because the Spice Girls ruled the world with Girl Power. Dance break! With the explosion of social media (and the obsession with selfies), it’s become easier for women to hate on each other. We’ve become divided as a gender. We judge women to build ourselves up, and that is only hurting us.

Source: napkindad.com

Source: napkindad.com

10. The Men’s Rights Movement. Do I agree with equal rights for everyone? Of course. But a movement for a bunch of whiny men who think they’re oppressed because women have a voice? Give me a f***ing break. Men have had more rights than women for hundreds, heck, thousands of years. Now that the playing field is more equal, the men behind this (mostly online) movement are bitching a fit? I’m willing to bet this movement gained popularity online because these people don’t have the balls to say any of this crap in public:

“It’s pretty standard knowledge around here that an average woman has a much easier time getting sex, and it takes a disproportionate amount of effort for men (the 80/20 rule here).

Good.

My goal in life is to become Nietzsche’s Ubermensch, the epitome of a human, or Maslow’s Self-Efficacy. With that life goal in mind, I actually enjoy it being more difficult to become the top male in order to get sex. Sleeping with girls easily in life, is just a challenge, an obstacle for me to overcome. A worthy opponent, sexual economics, put right in my face, testing me to see if I overcome it.

Sex is easier for girls, and therefore they don’t appreciate the average male’s struggle for economic dominance. Good. It helps separate the herd. They’ll never have to work as hard to be the best, and therefore will never have to develop their personalities, social acumen, or fitness as much as men do. Now given these traits do help acquire a higher quality mate for girls, but they aren’t necessary to get the carnal pleasures, or just an average mate in general.”

Boo hoo, this poor man can’t get the ladies, and so this means that women have an easier time finding men. Sure dude, that makes perfect sense.

Source: rednblacksalamander.deviantart.com

Source: rednblacksalamander.deviantart.com

The tragedy in this movement is that some women are even joining their forces. I know, right? Here is an, um, interesting example of a woman who I will not name in this post, for the same reason I did not cite the male’s whiny quote: because I had to go to the dark corners of the internet, and I do not wish for anyone to unwillingly stumble upon this craziness. Anyway, here’s a woman who is fighting for the rights of oppressed men everywhere:

“When you think about the kind of life that many men end up having, it really says something about the disregard we hold men in, that we can chain them to that kind of obligation without providing them any kind of benefit of choice or freedom. We have a word for that, and that word is slavery.”

That’s right. This woman believes that (predominantly white) men today are so oppressed that we can compare them to slaves.

Source: galleryhip.com

Source: galleryhip.com

The face says it all.

11. The existence of Fox News, AKA “Faux News.” This “news” station is dedicated to brainwashing people who don’t know any better, filling their minds with misinformation. In fact, studies show that you’re better off watching no news at all than Fox News. Not only do their newscasters have no idea what they’re talking about, but many of them, along with other extreme conservatives, are blatantly sexist. These guys are stupid enough to state their uneducated opinions on national television, whereas the men behind the Men’s Rights Movement hide behind computer screens. I have a feeling the amount of money Fox newscasters make has something to do with that.

Source: 247sports.com

Source: 247sports.com

I have a bad feeling they’re serious.

12. No matter how many years pass by, or how many rights we gain, we are still mainly physical beings, and society continues to feed into this depressing philosophy.

13. Slut shaming. In other words, when people blame women for being sluts.

Case in point: the iCloud celebrity photo hack. Some people blamed the celebrities themselves for the hack, claiming that they shouldn’t have taken naked photos in the first place. It’s their fault some douchebag invaded their privacy, stole their photos, and leaked them online! Those sluts!

But don’t worry. Jennifer Lawrence fired back in a Vanity Fair interview, and showed those slut shamers how wrong they were.

Source: newscenterd.com

Source: newscenterd.com

Lawrence also said in the article that she has nothing to be sorry about and that this was a sex crime. She is completely right.

14. The idea that women “having it all” is a perfect marriage, the socially acceptable amount of kids, and a socially accepted career. For 2015, you’d think we’d be more creative than that. Yes, some women want all of those things, but isn’t it a little naive to assume that EVERY woman does?

15. Finally, in all of American history, how many female presidents have we had?

ZERO. I would be so proud if this changes within my lifetime.

It’s hard out here for a bitch, and this list stops at 15 when it could go on for ages. In many countries around the world, women are raped and murdered for speaking out for justice. Women in some countries have no voice.

I will continue to speak for those whose voices have been silenced.

The Day I Realized I Should Rely on Myself, Not My iPhone

*Disclaimer: I am in my 20’s and have grown up with technology, but this does not signify that I have a full understanding of technological devices in question.

I (mostly) adore my iPhone. It is convenient, cool, and has infinite apps and social media connections to offer. It is a handy, dandy gadget that I use in my daily life on the regular (and that includes keeping up with blogs on WordPress).

My iPhone had never failed me before…until a few days ago. I innocently backed up my iCloud because my phone suggested that I should (and who was I to argue?). Big mistake! After I did this, all of my contacts vanished. GONE.

I went into panic mode. “How could this happen to me?” I asked myself. I felt disappointed. This little piece of technology failed me, deceived me! “Back up your iCloud,” it said. And I went against my better judgment.

I decided to wait until the problem solved itself, and when my contacts were MIA for a couple of days, I called my phone company with my frustrations. She told me to…back up iCloud. Again.

“Should I trust her?” I wondered. “But what’s the worst that could happen?” I took her advice, and, what do you know—my contacts reappeared!

I’ll admit that my panic at the temporary loss of my contacts was dramatic, but haven’t most of us been in situations like this at some point? Today, we rely so heavily on technology, and when that technology fails us for any reason, we go into full-on panic mode (or is that just me?). My iPhone makes my life easier for the most part, but at the same time, I may have become too attached to this little device.

After my contacts returned home, a wave of relief overcame me, and I could breathe easy. But I have learned my lesson, and know to trust my judgment. If my phone ever suggests that I backup iCloud, I will say, “NEVER AGAIN!” Be careful, fellow iPhone users. From now on, I will rely on my instincts and research what my phone is suggesting I do. Sure, the iPhone is awesome, but it’s also a tricky little devil.

 

The heartbreak of creativity: a public service announcement

This is a clever and funny blog post. I think many of us have some symptoms of creativity. 🙂

Drinking Tips for Teens

ross jobs A version of this piece originally aired on CBC Radio’s “Breakaway.” You can hear the original audio version here .

Hello, I’m Ross Murray, beloved columnist, salad dressing connoisseur and author of the best-selling self-help book Don’t Kid Yourself, Mister. Today, I’d like to talk about a condition that afflicts 2 out of 6 Canadians and in some areas as many as 1 in 3. I’m talking about… creativity.

Creativity can strike anyone, anytime, though probably not before 10 a.m. Creative people are just like you and me, except with weirder clothes and occasionally dubious hygiene. Creativity is a highly distracting affliction, but, with regular treatment and flattery, most creative people lead full, productive lives… Let me try that again: most creative people lead full lives.

There are two types of creativity. Some people are born creative, although early creativity remains difficult to diagnose. Many parents become convinced that their…

View original post 410 more words

Movie Review: This Is the End

Source: io9.com

Source: io9.com

This Is the End, starring James Franco, Seth Rogan, and Jonah Hill, is a comedy with today’s funnymen playing themselves, struggling to survive the apocalypse at James Franco’s house. The movie is absurd, outrageous, and vulgar–and it works brilliantly (as long as you’re not easily offended).

The movie, directed by Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg, is reminiscent of Monty Python humor, but Rogan added drug use and sexual references that we all can expect from these comedians. The comedic timing is perfection, and the chemistry among the actors is apparent. This film is full of famous faces who all stand out on their own.

This Is the End references other movies, including Rosemary’s Baby and The Exorcist, but the actors put a spin on these horror classics, creating hilarious situations that keep the movie fresh and unpredictable. With comedy it’s difficult to create something different, but this film offers a new take on horror, the end of the world, and the All-Star-Cast-Movie. These comedians’ performances are some of the funniest of their careers. The comedic elements mixed together has created one of the most brilliant (and outrageous) comedies of the year.