Female Expectations: What’s up with that?

Men and women have always had different expectations in society. That’s the way history has played out, and continues to play out today. As women gained more equality, doors were opened to more opportunities.

Source: heragenda.com

Source: heragenda.com

Despite the advances women have made, there is obviously more changes that need to happen. One of the many expectations that needs to change is the idea of “having it all.”

What does that mean?

It appears that the phrase could have derived from author and Cosmopolitan editor Helen Gurley Brown’s 1982 book entitled “Having It All: Love, Success, Sex, Money…Even if You’re Starting With Nothing.”

The title wasn’t Brown’s idea, and she actually hated the title. But it appears that society has ran with this idea that women should chase after “having it all.”

The first thing I want to note is that “having it all” is a phrase not directed at the population at large. It is specified to women, and women only.

Why?

I’m honestly not sure. I’m assuming because society believes that men already have it all. So someone concocted this idea that no women “have it all.” Thus, society needed to dish out advice to women on how they too can “have it all.”

But first, society needs to define what they believe all women in 2015 must have in order to truly “have it all” and have succeeded in life:

1.

Source: hercampus.com

Source: hercampus.com

College degree.

2.

Source: davisvision.com

Source: davisvision.com

Career.

3.

Source: playbuzz.com

Source: playbuzz.com

Marriage.

4.

Source: mothersniche.com

Source: mothersniche.com

Kids.

Are there women who do in fact want everything on this list? Of course.

But does every single woman on the face of the planet want all of these things?

Source: memecrunch.com

Source: memecrunch.com

The problem with the phrase “having it all” assumes that all women, all over the planet, have the exact same list of dreams they hope to accomplish in life in order to feel like they’ve “made it.” This isn’t the case. We are human beings. We are not one size fits all. We aren’t robots.

I believe that just like men, women should feel free to live their lives as they please (as long as they’re not hurting anyone or committing crimes, of course). We don’t see articles about men struggling to “have it all,” yet throughout the years, there have been many magazine covers like this:

Source: washingtonpost.com

Source: washingtonpost.com

Source: content.time.com

Source: content.time.com

Source: content.time.com

Source: content.time.com

All of these magazine covers are debating about what’s “right” for women’s lives. These in-depth articles explore “nontraditional” decisions some women make. These articles dissect the statistics of how many women aren’t having kids, what happens when women have a career and kids, and explores the reasons for women parenting the way that they do.

Do magazines study and write extensive articles like this about men? No. Men have never been involved in these repetitive discussions that seem to be never-ending.

My question about these debates on women’s lives?

Source: troll.me

Source: troll.me

Honestly, why does any of this matter? Should it?

My theory is that the media and society make it appear like it matters because women are still consistently judged by absolutely everyone. It’s a fact of being a woman in the world.

Our appearances, life choices, goals, dreams, and opinions are all dissected, picked apart, debated, questioned, and judged. We are judged by the media, society, our teachers, our families, churches, doctors, and strangers. We cannot escape judgement.

The problem with this is that society has made it impossible for women to “have it all” because society has a specific opinion on what “it all” is. If you haven’t checked every box on their list, then you don’t have it all according to society.

When there is a trend of women making decisions different from society’s expectations of them, like opting out of parenthood, for example, the media and society freak out like the world is coming to an end.

Source: searchbuzz.co

Source: searchbuzz.co

“Oh my gosh, why are less women having kids?!?’

“What’s wrong with these women?”

“How can we change their minds?”

“Are women who don’t have kids selfish?”

Women still have narrow expectations in society today, even in America. When we travel our own paths and make our own choices, there is an absolute frenzy from, well, everyone. Women are still expected to check every item off the list of the “To Do List of Every Woman on the Planet,” and when women don’t, there are debates about why not.

Newsflash: It doesn’t matter.

If women aren’t hurting anyone, who cares if some women don’t have kids?

Or don’t get married?

Or don’t go to college?

Or don’t have a perfect career?

Women are human beings, too, and not all women have the same brain, the same values, or even the same interests. Shocking, I know. Women are (GASP!) free to make choices. Just like not all men have the same ambitions in life, neither do women.

This idea of women “having it all” seems to give women the message that they can never have “it all” because it’s impossible. Evidently they are saying, “It’s possible for men to have a college degree, get married, have kids, and have a career, but women, you just can’t do that. Sorry!” It’s the assumption that all women everywhere want all of these things, and that it’s automatically an impossibility.

My version of “having it all” may differ from another woman’s version of it. Also, I don’t even believe in the phrase “having it all” because I believe that the phrase is just agenda pushing. It’s pushing the message that women are set up to fail and that they should be fighting their entire lives to achieve “it all.” It’s just forcing women to continue being “good girls” and following what society expects from them. Men are judged slightly for not achieving these things as well, but not even close to the degree women are judged. Women are judged so harshly it’s fulled worldwide debates.

As everyone continues to debate if women can “have it all” (or if “having it all” should even be discussed anymore), I hope that more people start coming around to the idea that women can make individual choices and that the only thing that should matter is that women are happy and fulfilling their own personal dreams.

Advertisements

Dear Everyone: Here’s Why I Don’t Want To Read Your Crappy Opinions On What Other Women Should Do

This is from one of my favorite blogs, The Belle Jar. She wrote what I have also been thinking about for a while. It’s insane that in 2015, women are still shamed for basically every decision they make, yet men live without judgement. Women tear each other down and debate what is “right.” I have an idea: How about we let women make their own decisions?

The Belle Jar

Earlier today, Lydia Lovrac, a Montreal-based “columnist, talk-radio host, stay-at-home mom,” wrote a scornful response to piece from 2013 about why Sasha Emmons chooses to work outside of the home. Don’t ask me why Lovrac is responding to a two year old article, because I’m as baffled as you are. I’m sure she has her reasons, such as maybe she some type of wizard who exists outside of the linear bounds of time and space; this would explain why she is writing about the evils of mothers who work outside the home in 2015.

You guys, it’s 2015. It has been two thousand and fifteen years since the alleged birth of Christ and we are still having this goddamn argument about whether or not a mother is morally obligated to stay home with her kids, should finances permit. And as much as it’s tempting to write off Lovrac as a throw-back with outdated…

View original post 970 more words

In honor of International Women’s Day (Why I’m a feminist)

Source: patheos.com

Source: patheos.com

Today, March 8th, is International Women’s Day. I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while, and I decided that today would be the perfect time.

In 2015, we live in a generation of opposing viewpoints. Feminists speaking out on one end, and politicians or anti-feminists trying to take our society backwards on the other.

In America, we live in a society with many opportunities that women in other countries do not have. However, even we do not have full equality. This is a disappointment as a female American citizen living in the 21st century.

I believe that I should not have any reasons to be a feminist other than I believe in equality. But in this society, we are expected to have reasons for being a feminist. As if we should justify, qualify our opinions.

I am a feminist because I am. It’s as simple as that. But I am a feminist not for myself. I’m a feminist for women who don’t have a voice.

We need feminism because society has created fear of the word. We need feminism because feminism is viewed as a debatable issue rather than an obvious right. We need feminism because when celebrities announce they are feminists, it’s called “coming out,” as if they’ve been hiding a dark secret.

We need feminism because there are anti-feminists. There are people who minimize women’s issues as “feminist bitching.”

Voicing the belief in equal rights doesn’t make us bitches. It makes us human beings.

While I do not belive I need to divulge any reasons as to why I identify as a feminist, I do feel it necessary to express my need for feminism.

I need feminism because without it, my country may never have given women the right to vote.

I need feminism because I earn less than men.

I need feminism because advertisers tell me every day what I should look like.

I need feminism because advertisers give me different rules every day.

I need feminism because rape against women is debated by mostly male politicians.

I need feminism because women are told how to avoid being a victim of rape, while men are told how to pick up hoes.

I need feminism because women on the red carpet are asked, “What are you wearing?” before asking about the fucking movie.

I need feminism because Meghan Trainor shames women who are skinny, degrading them to “stick figure silicone Barbie dolls” (and gives poor excuses for doing so).

I need feminism because about 24 million women and men suffer from eating disorders in America. I’m willing to bet that society’s fucked up beauty standards and obsession with our bodies has something to do with that.

I need feminism when colleges allow rapists to return to school, which is horrifying and traumatic for the victims.

I need feminism because my ex-boyfriend told me I was weak.

I need feminism because women don’t need rules.

I need feminism because I don’t need marriage. If I want it, I can choose it.

I need feminism because I want control over my own body.

I need feminism because it is my choice whether or not to have kids–not society’s.

I need feminism because women are advised to travel in pairs or groups for our own safety.

I need feminism because women are told we can do anything we want–as long as we get married, have the right amount of kids (no one knows the exact number, but it’s constantly changing), and work the right amount (this is constantly changing too).

I need feminism because women’s choices are not viewed as CHOICES. They are viewed as right or wrong, and open for debate.

I need feminism because I am told I’m pretty more than I am told I’m smart.

I need feminism because some people believe rape victims were “asking for it.”

I need feminism because when I was a teenager, I read a Christian book that blamed rape victims. Their hypothesis: if women wear sexy clothes, men cannot help themselves.

I need feminism because control over women’s bodies and “blurring” the lines between rough sex and sexual assault are not only glorified, but books and music about this topic sells billions of dollars (Robin Thicke or 50 Shades, anyone?)

I need feminism because when a male celebrity’s naked photos are leaked, the situation is “funny.” When the same situation happens to a female celebrity, some call her a “whore,” and blame her for taking the photos in the first place.

I need feminism because some men use their drunkenness as an excuse to verbally or sexually harass me in bars.

I need feminism because a drunk man once offered me money to kiss him. While I had a boyfriend. After I had already rejected his flirtations (true story).

I need feminism because if I reject a guy for a date after he comes off too aggressive, his friend calls me a “bitch” and a “cunt” on Facebook (also true story).

I need feminism because there are many names used to shame women: slut, whore, cunt, bitch, skank, sleaze, easy, loose, open-for-business.

I need feminism because men are applauded for the types of behaviors that give women the names listed above.

I need feminism because I believe in body autonomy. My body is mine, no matter what our government, society, or some religions would like me to believe.

I need feminism because little girls are still learning that their looks matter. But there are young girls standing up to voice how much more important their education is than being pretty.

I need feminism because we should be celebrating women and voicing our hopes for equality every day of the year.

I need feminism because there are movements created with the purpose to tear down the progress feminists have made in this country. Movements that are blatantly sexist against women and have a disturbing number of followers.

I need feminism because Elliot Rodger is, to my horror, viewed by some “Red Pill” anti-women activists as a “hero.” Rodger wrote a disturbing manifesto before going on a shooting rampage, killing six people and wounding 14 others.

I need feminism because with the internet, it’s easier for men to harrass me online.

I need feminism because I’m not a bitch for having a voice.

We live in country  where we value “freedom,” yet it doesn’t exist for everyone. Feminism has evolved and been beneficial for women’s rights, but we’re not done. In my lifetime, I hope to see even more changes towards equality. The fight isn’t over. We can’t be afraid to stand up, speak out, and fight back against the ones dragging us down.

My Response to the NYC Pastor

Source: giphy.com My face when I read NYC Pastor's "advice"

Source: giphy.com
My face when I read NYC Pastor’s “advice”

A viral blog post written by a blogger named NYC Pastor has many people’s panties in a twist, myself included. In a nutshell, the guy appears to be quite narrow-minded, to put it kindly. To be blunt and more specific, he could be appropriately identified as a sexist.

The post in question is titled “10 WOMEN CHRISTIAN MEN SHOULD NOT MARRY,” and the all-caps were the author’s doing, not mine. So by just reading the title, we have already identified the first problem. But if you thought all-caps was the most obnoxious sin the NYC Pastor could commit, think again.

I read the post and laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. Seriously, give it a read if you need a good joke. While I was appalled at the author’s outdated and offensive views towards women, it was still an amusing read because of its absurdity.

In his introduction, NYC Pastor states that he wrote another post of the ten men Christian women should not marry. Hoping that this dude’s offensive views knew no gender, I took a look and discovered that I was wrong. Even while discussing men that are “not worthy” of Christian women, the author still manages to bash women in the process, making sure that women are to blame for everything. Seriously, he went above and beyond to offend any woman who stumbles upon his blog.

After I pulled myself together, I decided that my thoughts cannot be limited to a paragraph left in the comment section on NYC Pastor’s post (of which there are 1,105 comments total). Instead, my thoughts deserve an entire blog post, listing my responses to every one of NYC Pastor’s 10 “reasons.” Here we go:

1. The Unbeliever

I get it. Some Christians believe that they should marry other Christians. But honestly, is that anyone else’s business besides the people involved in the relationship? If they’re happy, they’re happy. End of story.

2. The Divorcee

NYC Pastor claims that Christians can only divorce if their partner cheated within the marriage. Sooo, domestic violence doesn’t exist or what? Emotional abuse is perfectly acceptable? A woman should just put up with it, because if she divorces the rotten, good-for-nothing jerk, she’s a “sinner” and not worthy of having a healthy second marriage? You, sir, are an asshole.

3. The Older Woman

What defines an “older” woman, according to the NYC Pastor? Two years. He cites some supposed “research” to back up his claim that marrying a woman one to three years older means men are 53% more likely to divorce their wives. Does he realize that regardless of age, socio-economic status, and religion, that over half of all marriages fail anyway? But the other reason he believes men shouldn’t marry “older” women? Why of course, it’s because men were created first, and have authority over women! Duh! He even leaves us with a beautiful Bible verse which states that women are “to remain quiet.” Nope, that wasn’t a typo. I double-checked.

4. The Feminist

Ohhh no he di’n’t! I’m rolling up my sleeves as we speak, and about to throw some punches in the form of written words. Basically, the Pastor regurgitates some Bible verses about how women were created “for” men, how we live to serve men, get on our knees to kiss their feet, all that sexist bullshit.

No.

Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but no woman was born to serve you. She has her own life, and she doesn’t care about you. After reading this blog post, I’m sure most women will not give you the time of day besides giving you a piece of our minds. You think you can dish it out, but can you take it?

Women have been oppressed by assholes who spouted the same words you did, and we stand up against these lies you try to shove down the throats of your fellow Christians. Funny how you worship these lies that make the lives of men more convenient and important than women’s. That isn’t a coincidence.  Without feminism, women would still be second-class citizens, duct tape around our mouths, our wrists tied with rope. We have a voice, and we are people.

5. The Immodest-Dresser

Let me get this straight: if a man gawks at a woman dressed “sexy,” it’s the woman’s fault for the man objectifying her because she’s dressed that way? Ah, thank you for slut shaming women everywhere, Mr. Pastor. I’m willing to bet you also blame rape victims because “they were asking for it.”

6. The Gossiper/Slanderer

Yes, gossiping and slander are not desired qualities to have in any relationship. However, bashing women everywhere in a blog post is not necessarily the definition of “wisdom,” now is it?

7. The Childbirth Avoider

Unrelated: It’s amusing how he titled this reason “The Childbirth Avoider” as if you’re avoiding a cold. You better make sure to take your Vitamin C and wash your hands frequently: everyone’s catching The Childbirth!

NYC Pastor’s advice: if you don’t want kids, don’t get married. Period. Marriage isn’t about spending your lives with someone you love. It’s about poppin’ out them babies. We must use our reproductive organs and have babies, or suffer the wrath of God! Or, you know, just have a happy life without kids, if that’s how you roll. Either one.

8. The Wander-Luster (seriously, this guy has a hyphen problem)

Family vacations: Good.

Traveling the world: Bad.

The dude has the audacity to say that women who are frequently “out of the home” are to be avoided. Why? Because, according to Pastor, women who travel outside of their front door are “loud…busybodies who talk nonsense.” Oh sorry, he was quoting the Bible there. My bad. But seriously? Women who travel are gaining experiences, knowledge, and meeting new people. This guy claims that any opportunity in which the woman isn’t serving a man and is out of a man’s control is a sin.

9. The Career-first Woman

Don’t worry, women can work! Phew, I was worried there for a second. But women must also raise her children at the same time. Women should not make more money than their husband’s, because their penises will shrivel up (Book of Leviticus). Women should be overjoyed to quit their jobs and stay at home, because men cannot stay at home or raise children. Their penises will shrivel up, and their flesh will burn (Book of Job).

10. The Devotion-less Woman (again with the hyphens!)

This point isn’t nearly as disgusting as the rest of NYC Pastor’s post. A Christian wanting to find someone who is devoted to his or her religion is understandable. However, just like in the first point, if a couple is happy, it’s no one else’s business. I thought the Pastor said women can’t be busybodies? Oh, but it’s okay if men are? That makes perfect sense. Men are superior, after all, especially pricks like NYC Pastor. He knows what he’s talking about.

There you have it, my snarky response to a blog post that made me feel more snarky than usual. It’s because of men like this that women need feminism, and will always need it. We are not done, we will not be quiet. We will raise our voices even louder to shut you up, NYC Pastor. Shut up and sit down.

If I Had a Dollar (Why I Am a Feminist)

This powerful Freshly Pressed post says it better than I ever could. An important read, and I think everyone, men and women, must read this. Feminism is not “a thing of the past.” It is now. It’s you and me. It’s your parents, grandparents, and strangers on the street. Feminism is everywhere. We live and breathe it, and there are enemies fighting against it. Feminism has been misconstrued, but the heart of it is equality. Feminism isn’t a dirty word. What’s dirty is pretending that we don’t need it.

girl in the hat

image courtesy Devil Doll image courtesy Devil Doll

Because my mother was a painter and a beauty when artists had patrons and a woman like that needed a man to take care of her, so she married a money man.

Because my mother’s mother was a beauty and her mother was, too, and that’s what people said: “She was a beautiful woman,” as if that was the only remarkable thing.

Because I was born in 1966, the year Betty Friedan and others started the National Organization of Women and challenged an industry which required flight attendants to quit if they got married, pregnant, or reached the age of 32.

Because when my mother had me, she stopped painting and started cleaning house and throwing dinner parties and smoking too many cigarettes and crying in the mirror.

Because my mother never told me that I looked pretty because she did not want me to grow…

View original post 806 more words

15 reasons why it’s hard out here for a b*tch

Lily Allen’s tongue-in-cheek single “Hard Out Here” states in no uncertain terms, “It’s hard out here for a bitch,” and the song and music video are, for lack of better words, a kick in the balls.

In classic Allen fashion, she uses humor, profanity, and bubblegum pop sound to tackle serious societal issues. “Hard Out Here” is a feminist take on the double standards for men and women.

While this feminist theme has been covered many times in the past (anyone remember Christina Aguilera and Lil’ Kim’s “Can’t Hold Us Down” circa 2002?), “Hard Out Here” is a perfectly-timed release.

The last couple years have been a losing battle for female equality, and it appears that 2015 could be more of the same.

Blogger Doobster418 at his blog Mindful Digressions broke down the statistics of the 114th Congress, and it’s not pretty. How many women make up Congress, you ask?

20%. Yes. 80% of Congress members are men. America, the land of equal opportunity, has a dismally unequal Congress. I hope I’m not the only one shaking my head.

As Allen writes in her single, “Inequality promises that it’s here to stay/Always trust the injustice cause it’s not going away.” At a time like this, these lyrics clearly describe a country where many citizens are blind to the blatant sexism between men and women.

In honor of the new year, I wrote a post about 15 reasons why being a woman rocks in 2015. Even before typing it, the temptation to rage about the bull women live with was brewing deep in my brain. I knew the post would have a rebuttal. Feminism is a two-sided coin, after all. It’s a movement that is progressive throughout history, and like any other equality movement, the battle is never over.

Here is the post that I’ve been itching to write. The 15 reasons it’s hard out here for a bitch.

1. Two words: pay gap. If you are someone who has a vagina, you will always be paid less than someone with a penis for doing the exact same job. Why? Because you have a vagina, my dear.

2. Bachelor married at 53? Sexy!

Source: express.co.uk

Source: express.co.uk

Bachelorette married at 42? Old hag! (and she must be pregnant!)

Source: eonline.com

Source: eonline.com

3. If you don’t have kids, you aren’t a real woman. You’re a fake woman. Because you are only a womb.

Source: voodoodarling.com

Source: voodoodarling.com

4. But if you do have kids and live in America, you are living in the only developed country without guaranteed paid maternity leave.

Source: thinkprogress.org

Source: thinkprogress.org

5. You could be arrested for having a miscarriage in America. Seriously. If a woman has a miscarriage, it could be interpreted as an attempted home abortion, and she needs to go to court to defend her case. This is the world we live in, folks. Just a reminder: it’s 2015, not 1815.

6. You have two choices:

Saint

Source: philomena.org

Source: philomena.org

Slut

Source: blogs.longwood.edu

Source: blogs.longwood.edu

Yes, those are your only two choices.

7. Ever heard of the Thinspiration movement? It’s an online movement to promote anorexia.

Source: pinterest.com

Source: pinterest.com

Just when society is beginning to turn around and say, “Ladies, you can eat,” the Thinspiration movement takes over the internet to tear women down and make them feel bad about themselves. The movement gives “inspirational” pictures of thin women girls can look to for what they should hope to look like. That sounds healthy.

8. If being anorexic isn’t your thing, fear not! Another movement has threatened to demolish Thinspiration’s popularity. It’s the Fitspiration movement. The exact same thing as Thinspiration, but jamming in the word “fit” to replace “thin.” What’s the difference between “fit” and “thin”? Good question. There’s a blog post for that.

Source: usmagazine.com

Source: usmagazine.com

9. The 90’s was a beautiful decade because the Spice Girls ruled the world with Girl Power. Dance break! With the explosion of social media (and the obsession with selfies), it’s become easier for women to hate on each other. We’ve become divided as a gender. We judge women to build ourselves up, and that is only hurting us.

Source: napkindad.com

Source: napkindad.com

10. The Men’s Rights Movement. Do I agree with equal rights for everyone? Of course. But a movement for a bunch of whiny men who think they’re oppressed because women have a voice? Give me a f***ing break. Men have had more rights than women for hundreds, heck, thousands of years. Now that the playing field is more equal, the men behind this (mostly online) movement are bitching a fit? I’m willing to bet this movement gained popularity online because these people don’t have the balls to say any of this crap in public:

“It’s pretty standard knowledge around here that an average woman has a much easier time getting sex, and it takes a disproportionate amount of effort for men (the 80/20 rule here).

Good.

My goal in life is to become Nietzsche’s Ubermensch, the epitome of a human, or Maslow’s Self-Efficacy. With that life goal in mind, I actually enjoy it being more difficult to become the top male in order to get sex. Sleeping with girls easily in life, is just a challenge, an obstacle for me to overcome. A worthy opponent, sexual economics, put right in my face, testing me to see if I overcome it.

Sex is easier for girls, and therefore they don’t appreciate the average male’s struggle for economic dominance. Good. It helps separate the herd. They’ll never have to work as hard to be the best, and therefore will never have to develop their personalities, social acumen, or fitness as much as men do. Now given these traits do help acquire a higher quality mate for girls, but they aren’t necessary to get the carnal pleasures, or just an average mate in general.”

Boo hoo, this poor man can’t get the ladies, and so this means that women have an easier time finding men. Sure dude, that makes perfect sense.

Source: rednblacksalamander.deviantart.com

Source: rednblacksalamander.deviantart.com

The tragedy in this movement is that some women are even joining their forces. I know, right? Here is an, um, interesting example of a woman who I will not name in this post, for the same reason I did not cite the male’s whiny quote: because I had to go to the dark corners of the internet, and I do not wish for anyone to unwillingly stumble upon this craziness. Anyway, here’s a woman who is fighting for the rights of oppressed men everywhere:

“When you think about the kind of life that many men end up having, it really says something about the disregard we hold men in, that we can chain them to that kind of obligation without providing them any kind of benefit of choice or freedom. We have a word for that, and that word is slavery.”

That’s right. This woman believes that (predominantly white) men today are so oppressed that we can compare them to slaves.

Source: galleryhip.com

Source: galleryhip.com

The face says it all.

11. The existence of Fox News, AKA “Faux News.” This “news” station is dedicated to brainwashing people who don’t know any better, filling their minds with misinformation. In fact, studies show that you’re better off watching no news at all than Fox News. Not only do their newscasters have no idea what they’re talking about, but many of them, along with other extreme conservatives, are blatantly sexist. These guys are stupid enough to state their uneducated opinions on national television, whereas the men behind the Men’s Rights Movement hide behind computer screens. I have a feeling the amount of money Fox newscasters make has something to do with that.

Source: 247sports.com

Source: 247sports.com

I have a bad feeling they’re serious.

12. No matter how many years pass by, or how many rights we gain, we are still mainly physical beings, and society continues to feed into this depressing philosophy.

13. Slut shaming. In other words, when people blame women for being sluts.

Case in point: the iCloud celebrity photo hack. Some people blamed the celebrities themselves for the hack, claiming that they shouldn’t have taken naked photos in the first place. It’s their fault some douchebag invaded their privacy, stole their photos, and leaked them online! Those sluts!

But don’t worry. Jennifer Lawrence fired back in a Vanity Fair interview, and showed those slut shamers how wrong they were.

Source: newscenterd.com

Source: newscenterd.com

Lawrence also said in the article that she has nothing to be sorry about and that this was a sex crime. She is completely right.

14. The idea that women “having it all” is a perfect marriage, the socially acceptable amount of kids, and a socially accepted career. For 2015, you’d think we’d be more creative than that. Yes, some women want all of those things, but isn’t it a little naive to assume that EVERY woman does?

15. Finally, in all of American history, how many female presidents have we had?

ZERO. I would be so proud if this changes within my lifetime.

It’s hard out here for a bitch, and this list stops at 15 when it could go on for ages. In many countries around the world, women are raped and murdered for speaking out for justice. Women in some countries have no voice.

I will continue to speak for those whose voices have been silenced.

15 reasons why being a woman rocks in 2015

 

Source: everydayfeminism.com

Source: everydayfeminism.com

In 2014, I was baffled that “feminist” became a term some women were afraid to label themselves. Apparently being in favor of equal rights among both men and women means women hate men? That is sure news to me.

To the women who believe this is what feminism means, let me give it to you straight: you are horribly mistaken. While I’m sure there are some man-haters out there, that is not what feminism is about. That isn’t what it means to be a feminist.

It’s frustrating when women are terrified to show strength and pride in being women and that they back down into those meek stereotypes of what women should be. Come on, ladies! You don’t need to apologize for being born a woman.

In honor of the new year and the hope that 2015 is a year in which women can win some battles, here is a list of my 15 reasons why it rocks to be a woman right now.

1. Voting. BOOM.
Think about it. America declared its independence in 1776. According to my calculations, women couldn’t vote for 144 years. We finally were given the freedom to freaking vote in 1920. We have had this privilege for a measly 95 years.

2. The freedom to protest places like Hobby Lobby.

Source: tulsaworld.com

Source: tulsaworld.com

Religious freedom? Yes, that’s beautiful. A corporation being treated like a human being and dictating the limited contraception and health services it will pay for its female employees? Appalling. Damn right let’s protest.

3. Don’t want to have a baby? You don’t have to! Go on with yo bad self.

Source: mommyish.com Cameron Diaz: Doesn't have kids, and she rocks.

Source: mommyish.com
Cameron Diaz: Doesn’t have kids, and she rocks.

4. You want to have five kids? More power to ya!

5. Don’t want to get married? Don’t do it! You don’t need no man.

6. Leggings and yoga pants. I swear, I will do just about anything to avoid wearing something that doesn’t feel like pajamas. This also goes along with the fact that we don’t have to wear dresses or skirts.

7. Female police officers, doctors, lawyers, and firemen, oh my!

8. Women can go to college to earn a degree, not find a husband.

9. We can open our own bank accounts without the consent of someone with a penis. Women couldn’t have their own bank accounts until 1974, only 41 years ago.

10. According to the Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978, women cannot be fired for getting pregnant. But only 37 years ago, you could have said “bye bye” to your job if you let slip that you were pregnant.

11. The feminism movement has given women a voice in 2015.

12. Feminist activists like Gloria Steinem fighting an uphill (and ongoing) battle for women.

13. Authors such as Jessica Valenti and Laura Carroll who educate audiences about women who don’t want children, proving that women aren’t worthless if they don’t procreate. In 2015 I anticipate women continuing to fight for body autonomy. We are more than our body parts. We have BRAINS.

14. Twitter has provided us with many opportunities to speak up for equal rights. Hashtags like #YesAllWomen brought awareness to people in denial that sexism and misogyny is alive and well in America.

Source: hashtagfeminism.com

Source: hashtagfeminism.com

15. To the growing list of celebrities who are loud and proud to be feminists, you rock.

Source: littlestraightfeministthings.tumblr.com Kate Nash. Her music rocks, and so does she.

Source: littlestraightfeministthings.tumblr.com
Kate Nash. Her music rocks, and so does she.

This year, if you’re on the fence about defining yourself as a feminist, do your research first. Read. Learn. Educate yourself about what feminism means in America today. Learn what feminists are and what they are not. Don’t be afraid to be a woman in this country. Don’t apologize or back into a corner. Stand up and be proud of WHO you are. Don’t let America define you by WHAT you are.

Source: sparksummit.com

Source: sparksummit.com

Internet High Five to Jennifer Aniston: Women Making Our Own Dreams

Source: fullmasala.com

Jennifer Aniston became my hero a couple days ago when she was interviewed by Carson Daly and she stated that she doesn’t have a checklist for her life, and she does not need to define her womanhood by marriage or procreating. The “checklist” she refers to is an idea our society invented as a list of social norms we all need to follow in order to fit in as American citizens.

America: Home of the free. We think we can do “whatever we want,” as long as we abide by the laws. Right? Wrong! Before you get your panties (or boxers) in a twist, think about this: The American Dream. The beautiful idea our founding fathers invented.

Over 200 years after our country was founded, people still blab on into eternity about this completely fabricated idea. We are taught this “dream” throughout our American education as if it were tangible (spoiler alert: it’s just a dream). And what is that dream? Originally, the dream was to have “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” But over the course of history, societal norms evolved that dream into something a little more specific. Sure, we all want to be happy citizens. Yet in order to fit in with the rest of society, we are required the same things to achieve that happiness. The Checklist:

  1. Education
  2. Marriage
  3. House
  4. Kids (A.K.A. “family”)

Over a hundred years ago, this list did not exist. Before the Industrial Revolution, we married and had children to survive. We were agricultural beings, needing many hands to tend to the fields. Women were second-class citizens and didn’t have the right to so much as own homes. Marriage and children did not used to be social norms; they were necessary for a woman’s survival (unfortunately).

Time travel through those decades, and women slowly became more equal citizens. The right to vote, own homes, have their own checking accounts. Today, some women believe that we have achieved that wonderful sense of equality. Sorry to burst your happy bubble, but it’s not true. Women still have a long road to travel in order to find it.

In the past, marriage and children was required of women and it necessary for survive, but today that’s not the case. If it’s not, why do we get married and have kids? There are a billion potential personal reasons people have. But the main reason? It’s on The Checklist. And the problem is that this list pertains mainly to women.

If we think our American society portrays men and women equally, we are lying to ourselves. What do we call a man who remains unmarried and childless? A bachelor. And we imagine that these men are mainly sexy, like George Clooney (even though he was briefly married from 1989-1993 and has remained a bachelor until just recently).

Source: sofeminine.co.uk

What do we call a woman who remains unmarried and childless? A spinster. Cat lady. We assume she’s barren.

Source: teen.com

Women like Jennifer Aniston are badgered for years when people ask, “When are you getting MARRIEEEEED??? Are you going to have BABBBBIEEEESSSS???” Sure, men are asked these questions sometimes, but not nearly as often as women.

If a man lives alone and never marries, his house or apartment is called a Bachelor Pad. I don’t know about anyone else, but I have never heard anyone call a single woman’s house or apartment a Bachelorette Pad. Why? Haven’t you heard? A man living alone is sexy, but a woman living alone is tragic! (I kid, I kid, but some people do happen to believe that crap).

Throughout history, the American Dream morphed into a list of requirements for all citizens (women, more specifically) to achieve by a reasonable age in order to fit into society. While The Checklist applies to both men and women, it appears in our society that for some reason, it’s more necessary for women to cross everything off their list than it is for men. Why? Probably because of American society’s sexist beliefs that men don’t necessarily need women, but women need men.

I am giving an internet high five to Jen Aniston for throwing The Checklist out the window. She is living proof that women can have whatever life they choose. Some may live by The Checklist, but it’s not a requirement. The American Dream should be whatever dream we want it to be. Better yet: Forget the American Dream altogether. Have your own dreams. Create your own list, or don’t write a list at all. We should be free to live the lives we want, not the lives we should.

Source: bicikel.com

Ending on a humorous note, here is a clip from the late and legendary George Carlin. He said the American Dream is called a dream because “you have to be asleep to believe it.”