In my last blog post, I wrote about my epiphany that I’m holding myself back. I get in my own way. I self sabotage situations because I’m afraid of failure and the unknown. Now that I know this about myself, the next question I ask myself is: “How do I stop?”
So far, I don’t have a concrete answer. But what I do know is that sometimes I think too much. When I think too much, when I analyze situations too deeply, when I question myself and situations too much, I am more likely to self sabotage. When I think too much, self doubt creeps in.
I need to stop thinking too much. When I don’t question and just do, the possibilities are endless. Obviously sometimes we have to weigh the pros and make sure we’re not making dangerous decisions. But when I pause for too long, when I analyze the possible outcomes of a decision too much, I choose to stay frozen. I sabotage my own future.
I’ve noticed this with hobbies of mine. Blogging is a positive outlet. When I just blog and put my words out into the world, I see the benefits. It’s therapeutic. People read my words and can relate. I connect with other writers, read other people’s words and their words resonate with me as well. Yet when I think too much, I don’t blog. I abandon it, I question it, I feel self doubt about what I’m doing or why.
I started a YouTube channel. When I just film, edit, and upload, I feel a sense of satisfaction. The process of filming, editing, and uploading is fun (unless I have technological issues). However, when my analytical thoughts sneak up on me, I hold back. I procrastinate on filming or uploading videos, questioning why I’m even making videos in the first place. “It’s fun” should suffice. Yet when I think too much, I hold back.
While we do have to think things through to an extent to make sure we’re making healthy and safe decisions, sometimes thinking too much is more dangerous than just jumping into situations. When we think too much, we may miss out on opportunities. Connections with new people, cool jobs, new cities, hobbies that grow into careers.
Change is scary. Unknowns are scary because, duh, what if we fail? But failing doesn’t have to be negative. Sometimes failures can lead us to more self awareness. For me it has, even when I don’t realize it right away. In hindsight though, I can see my progress over time. I can see that through my failures, I’ve evolved as a person. But failures come from taking risks. We have to take those risks in the first place in order to fail (or succeed).
I think I have to stop thinking so much. Thinking too much is exhausting, and sometimes we have to just jump into the unknown, no matter how scary, not knowing the end result, because the end result could wind up being better than we expect it to be.