15 reasons why it’s hard out here for a b*tch

Lily Allen’s tongue-in-cheek single “Hard Out Here” states in no uncertain terms, “It’s hard out here for a bitch,” and the song and music video are, for lack of better words, a kick in the balls.

In classic Allen fashion, she uses humor, profanity, and bubblegum pop sound to tackle serious societal issues. “Hard Out Here” is a feminist take on the double standards for men and women.

While this feminist theme has been covered many times in the past (anyone remember Christina Aguilera and Lil’ Kim’s “Can’t Hold Us Down” circa 2002?), “Hard Out Here” is a perfectly-timed release.

The last couple years have been a losing battle for female equality, and it appears that 2015 could be more of the same.

Blogger Doobster418 at his blog Mindful Digressions broke down the statistics of the 114th Congress, and it’s not pretty. How many women make up Congress, you ask?

20%. Yes. 80% of Congress members are men. America, the land of equal opportunity, has a dismally unequal Congress. I hope I’m not the only one shaking my head.

As Allen writes in her single, “Inequality promises that it’s here to stay/Always trust the injustice cause it’s not going away.” At a time like this, these lyrics clearly describe a country where many citizens are blind to the blatant sexism between men and women.

In honor of the new year, I wrote a post about 15 reasons why being a woman rocks in 2015. Even before typing it, the temptation to rage about the bull women live with was brewing deep in my brain. I knew the post would have a rebuttal. Feminism is a two-sided coin, after all. It’s a movement that is progressive throughout history, and like any other equality movement, the battle is never over.

Here is the post that I’ve been itching to write. The 15 reasons it’s hard out here for a bitch.

1. Two words: pay gap. If you are someone who has a vagina, you will always be paid less than someone with a penis for doing the exact same job. Why? Because you have a vagina, my dear.

2. Bachelor married at 53? Sexy!

Source: express.co.uk
Source: express.co.uk

Bachelorette married at 42? Old hag! (and she must be pregnant!)

Source: eonline.com
Source: eonline.com

3. If you don’t have kids, you aren’t a real woman. You’re a fake woman. Because you are only a womb.

Source: voodoodarling.com
Source: voodoodarling.com

4. But if you do have kids and live in America, you are living in the only developed country without guaranteed paid maternity leave.

Source: thinkprogress.org
Source: thinkprogress.org

5. You could be arrested for having a miscarriage in America. Seriously. If a woman has a miscarriage, it could be interpreted as an attempted home abortion, and she needs to go to court to defend her case. This is the world we live in, folks. Just a reminder: it’s 2015, not 1815.

6. You have two choices:


Source: philomena.org
Source: philomena.org


Source: blogs.longwood.edu
Source: blogs.longwood.edu

Yes, those are your only two choices.

7. Ever heard of the Thinspiration movement? It’s an online movement to promote anorexia.

Source: pinterest.com
Source: pinterest.com

Just when society is beginning to turn around and say, “Ladies, you can eat,” the Thinspiration movement takes over the internet to tear women down and make them feel bad about themselves. The movement gives “inspirational” pictures of thin women girls can look to for what they should hope to look like. That sounds healthy.

8. If being anorexic isn’t your thing, fear not! Another movement has threatened to demolish Thinspiration’s popularity. It’s the Fitspiration movement. The exact same thing as Thinspiration, but jamming in the word “fit” to replace “thin.” What’s the difference between “fit” and “thin”? Good question. There’s a blog post for that.

Source: usmagazine.com
Source: usmagazine.com

9. The 90’s was a beautiful decade because the Spice Girls ruled the world with Girl Power. Dance break! With the explosion of social media (and the obsession with selfies), it’s become easier for women to hate on each other. We’ve become divided as a gender. We judge women to build ourselves up, and that is only hurting us.

Source: napkindad.com
Source: napkindad.com

10. The Men’s Rights Movement. Do I agree with equal rights for everyone? Of course. But a movement for a bunch of whiny men who think they’re oppressed because women have a voice? Give me a f***ing break. Men have had more rights than women for hundreds, heck, thousands of years. Now that the playing field is more equal, the men behind this (mostly online) movement are bitching a fit? I’m willing to bet this movement gained popularity online because these people don’t have the balls to say any of this crap in public:

“It’s pretty standard knowledge around here that an average woman has a much easier time getting sex, and it takes a disproportionate amount of effort for men (the 80/20 rule here).


My goal in life is to become Nietzsche’s Ubermensch, the epitome of a human, or Maslow’s Self-Efficacy. With that life goal in mind, I actually enjoy it being more difficult to become the top male in order to get sex. Sleeping with girls easily in life, is just a challenge, an obstacle for me to overcome. A worthy opponent, sexual economics, put right in my face, testing me to see if I overcome it.

Sex is easier for girls, and therefore they don’t appreciate the average male’s struggle for economic dominance. Good. It helps separate the herd. They’ll never have to work as hard to be the best, and therefore will never have to develop their personalities, social acumen, or fitness as much as men do. Now given these traits do help acquire a higher quality mate for girls, but they aren’t necessary to get the carnal pleasures, or just an average mate in general.”

Boo hoo, this poor man can’t get the ladies, and so this means that women have an easier time finding men. Sure dude, that makes perfect sense.

Source: rednblacksalamander.deviantart.com
Source: rednblacksalamander.deviantart.com

The tragedy in this movement is that some women are even joining their forces. I know, right? Here is an, um, interesting example of a woman who I will not name in this post, for the same reason I did not cite the male’s whiny quote: because I had to go to the dark corners of the internet, and I do not wish for anyone to unwillingly stumble upon this craziness. Anyway, here’s a woman who is fighting for the rights of oppressed men everywhere:

“When you think about the kind of life that many men end up having, it really says something about the disregard we hold men in, that we can chain them to that kind of obligation without providing them any kind of benefit of choice or freedom. We have a word for that, and that word is slavery.”

That’s right. This woman believes that (predominantly white) men today are so oppressed that we can compare them to slaves.

Source: galleryhip.com
Source: galleryhip.com

The face says it all.

11. The existence of Fox News, AKA “Faux News.” This “news” station is dedicated to brainwashing people who don’t know any better, filling their minds with misinformation. In fact, studies show that you’re better off watching no news at all than Fox News. Not only do their newscasters have no idea what they’re talking about, but many of them, along with other extreme conservatives, are blatantly sexist. These guys are stupid enough to state their uneducated opinions on national television, whereas the men behind the Men’s Rights Movement hide behind computer screens. I have a feeling the amount of money Fox newscasters make has something to do with that.

Source: 247sports.com
Source: 247sports.com

I have a bad feeling they’re serious.

12. No matter how many years pass by, or how many rights we gain, we are still mainly physical beings, and society continues to feed into this depressing philosophy.

13. Slut shaming. In other words, when people blame women for being sluts.

Case in point: the iCloud celebrity photo hack. Some people blamed the celebrities themselves for the hack, claiming that they shouldn’t have taken naked photos in the first place. It’s their fault some douchebag invaded their privacy, stole their photos, and leaked them online! Those sluts!

But don’t worry. Jennifer Lawrence fired back in a Vanity Fair interview, and showed those slut shamers how wrong they were.

Source: newscenterd.com
Source: newscenterd.com

Lawrence also said in the article that she has nothing to be sorry about and that this was a sex crime. She is completely right.

14. The idea that women “having it all” is a perfect marriage, the socially acceptable amount of kids, and a socially accepted career. For 2015, you’d think we’d be more creative than that. Yes, some women want all of those things, but isn’t it a little naive to assume that EVERY woman does?

15. Finally, in all of American history, how many female presidents have we had?

ZERO. I would be so proud if this changes within my lifetime.

It’s hard out here for a bitch, and this list stops at 15 when it could go on for ages. In many countries around the world, women are raped and murdered for speaking out for justice. Women in some countries have no voice.

I will continue to speak for those whose voices have been silenced.


  1. Hi Rebecca,
    I think you’re being unfair. I’ve been working for thirty years now, for various organisations and I’ve never worked anywhere that a woman has earnt less than a man for the same job. I’d go further. In most of the places I’ve worked I would say that women have found it easier to get promoted and have progressed further than their male colleagues with similar experience and qualifications. It’s quite frustrating as a man (or a woman without kids) to see your colleagues disappear for long periods while they do their own thing (I’m talking about having babies) on full pay, only to return later to be promoted straight away. I’ve seen this many times. Of course, in Britain, women do get a lot of maternity leave, but what about men: they increasingly take responsibility for child care but don’t receive the same benefits? There is also an argument that maternity/paternity payments discriminate against those of us (both male & female) who choose not to have children, particularly as we’re already paying tax at much higher rates. I know that my experience isn’t always typical: there are many organisations that do discriminate against women. The discrimination tends to get worse the higher you get (watch your head on that glass ceiling girls!) probably as a result of ‘the old boy network’. In my view the ‘positive’ discrimination I’ve experienced at the bottom end is a sop to make it look like companies are doing something (why is it that those of us the bottom always have to pay the price?!)

    There’s the office dress code, which applies to men, but not women. I was once given a stern warning for not wearing a tie with my smart suit (I’d forgotten to put one on) whilst my female colleagues carried on working outside the boss’s office in t-shirts and jeans – it never seemed to affect their promotion prospects.

    The bachelor effect? We’re not all George Clooney. Take a look at the bad press some of the less attractive older men (dirty old men?) get when they hang around with younger women. And as for the opposite, well, two of the women who are considered the most sexy (on this side of the pond, at least) Helen Mirren and Joanna Lumley, are both of well advanced years.

    Society does expect that women will have kids, but look around you: this applies to men as much as women. My wife and I despair about the discrimination and criticism we receive as a childless couple.

    I could go on. My experience all relates to the UK, but I can’t believe things are that different in America. You shouldn’t kill yourself over some of the worst of the media and the internet and think that it represents society at large. Of course you are right to fight against the considerable remaining discrimination (as I try to, when I have the opportunity) but I think you’re getting carried away. I would also say that it’s important not to create new discrimination (against men) in the process of removing existing discrimination against women. The last thing equal rights campaigners need to do is to create a ‘see-saw’ effect: equal rights should mean just that. We’re all human beings, all with similar hopes and aspirations. You shouldn’t demonise people because of their gender, if you do that, are you any better than those media commentators you despise?

    1. Yes, your experience in the UK is quite different from what America is like. In the United States, women make 77 cents to a man’s dollar, and that includes being employed in the same exact job position.

      As far as maternity leave, some jobs do provide women with paid maternity leave, but America is one of the only developed countries in which the government does not guarantee paid maternity leave.

      I understand what you’re saying about how not every guy is seen in a positive light for being a bachelor. However, women experience the pressure to marry and have kids significantly more than women. This is probably because of the historical gender roles of the past. Helen Mirren is a great example of a woman who hasn’t had kids, but she has been pressed in interviews about why she hasn’t had kids. Male celebrities do not experience as much presurre as women do in this regard.

      While I do not pay much attention to the media pressure, there are millions of young girls who do. Girls suffer from eating disorders and online bullying in significantly higher numbers than men. Although I understand where you’re coming from since it’s a different experience for men and for your experience in a different country.

  2. I am one of those gender gap pay woman but I love my job that’s why I do it. Always thought “respect” as a very big word,not enough of it in this world.Keep bitchin’ girl!

      1. I’m led to believe from this side of the pond that a few ladies could be throwing their hat in the presidential ring next year,can only be a good thing if true.

  3. The 77 cents on the dollar is a fallacy! I am not saying that men & women get paid the same everywhere, because I don’t know. But here is an article about the subject, and it is old (2012) so I don’t have a link, so I had to just put the whole thing here for you. Sorry if it takes up so much space. For what it’s worth……..
    As far as women in Congress or any office- there is no discrimination there, at all. If you want that number to change, then more women need to step up to the plate & run for office! If they win, they win. That is the only way to fix that “problem”………….So you rag on Fox News, eh? Let me guess, you think PMSDNC (msnbc) is totally fair & balanced in their spewing DNC propaganda and passing it off as news? Lol…Hardly…
    .And if you want to speak for those whose voices have been silenced, how about the 58 Million boys & girls that have been killed in abortions since 1973? They never even had a chance to be born, let alone speak…Who knows, maybe there was some women congress persons, or even our first woman President, or more women CEO’s…Guess we will never know about that one…………Anyway, keep on speaking your mind!

    Kay Hymowitz: Why Women Make Less Than Men
    In studies from the U.S. to Sweden, pay discrimination can’t explain the disparity. Women earn less because they work fewer hours.
    Updated April 26, 2012 10:19 a.m. ET
    First, the Atlantic magazine announced “the end of men.” Then a Time cover story in March proclaimed that women are becoming “the richer sex.” Now a Pew Research Center report tells us that young women have become more likely than young men to say that a high-paying career is very important to them. Are we really in the midst of what Pew calls a “gender reversal?”
    One stubborn fact of the labor market argues against the idea. That is the gender-hours gap, close cousin of the gender-wage gap. Most people have heard that full-time working American women earn only 77 cents for every dollar earned by men. Yet these numbers don’t take into account the actual number of hours worked. And it turns out that women work fewer hours than men.
    The Labor Department defines full-time as 35 hours a week or more, and the “or more” is far more likely to refer to male workers than to female ones. According to the department, almost 55% of workers logging more than 35 hours a week are men. In 2007, 25% of men working full-time jobs had workweeks of 41 or more hours, compared with 14% of female full-time workers. In other words, the famous gender-wage gap is to a considerable degree a gender-hours gap.
    The main reason that women spend less time at work than men—and that women are unlikely to be the richer sex—is obvious: children. Today, childless 20-something women do earn more than their male peers. But most are likely to cut back their hours after they have kids, giving men the hours, and income, advantage.
    One study by the American Association for University Women looked at women who graduated from college in 1992-93 and found that 23% of those who had become mothers were out of the workforce in 2003; another 17% were working part-time. Fewer than 2% of fathers fell into those categories. Another study, of M.B.A. graduates from Chicago’s Booth School, discovered that only half of women with children were working full-time 10 years after graduation, compared with 95% of men.
    Women, in fact, make up two-thirds of America’s part-time workforce. A just-released report from the New York Federal Reserve has even found that “opting-out” by midcareer college-educated wives, especially those with wealthy husbands, has been increasing over the past 20 years.
    Activists tend to offer two solutions for this state of affairs. First is that fathers should take equal responsibility for child care. After all, while men have tripled the number of hours they’re in charge of the kids since 1970, women still put in more hours on the domestic front. But even if we could put a magic potion in the nation’s water supply and turn 50% of men into Mr. Mom, that still leaves the growing number of women with no father in the house. Over 40% of American children are now born to unmarried women. A significant number—though not a majority—are living with their child’s father at birth. But in the next few years when those couples break up, which is what studies show they tend to do, guess who will be left minding the kids?
    Which brings us to the second proposed solution for the hours gap: generous family-leave and child-care policies. Sweden and Iceland are frequently held up as models in this regard, and they do have some of the most extensive paternity and maternity leave and publicly funded child care in the world.
    Yet even they also have a persistent hours and wage gap. In both countries, mothers still take more time off than fathers after the baby arrives. When they do go back to work, they’re on the job for fewer hours. Iceland’s income gap is a yawning 38%—that is, the average women earns only 62 cents to a man’s dollar. Even Sweden’s 15% gap—though lower than our 23% one—is far from full parity.
    All over the developed world women make up the large majority of the part-time workforce, and surveys suggest they want it that way. According to the Netherlands Institute for Social Research, in 2008 only 4% of the 70% of Dutch women who worked part-time wished they had a full-time job. A British Household Panel Survey interviewing 3,800 couples discovered that among British women, the happiest were those working part-time.
    A 2007 Pew Research survey came up with similar results for American women: Among working mothers with minor children, 60% said they would prefer to work part-time, while only 21% wanted to be in the office full-time (and 19% said they’d like to give up their job altogether). How about working fathers? Only 12% would choose part-time and 70% wanted to be full-time.
    Some counter that the hours gap would shrink if employers offered more family-friendly policies, such as flexible hours and easier on-off ramps for moving in and out of the workforce. We don’t know if there is a way to design workplaces so that women would work more or men would work less or both. What we do know is that no one, anywhere, has yet figured out how to do it. Which means that for the foreseeable future, at least when it comes to income, women will remain the second sex.
    Ms. Hymowitz is a fellow at the Manhattan Institute and the author, most recently, of “Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men Into Boys,” just published in paperback by Basic Books.

    1. The pay gap is a complicated topic because there are so many factors to consider, but the “pay gap” itself is not actually a fallacy. Women earn less than men, period. There is no argument there. The question as to why is a complicated one to answer. Here are a couple articles that break down some explanations:



      While there are many factors for why women earn less, sometimes it’s even when women are working similar jobs. The gap is getting smaller, but it still remains. Like the author of the article you included said, there is still a pay gap. She even shows that it’s not a fallacy at all. It’s there, but not everyone can agree on why. That’s the complicated issue. If it’s hours worked, that means that women are still primary caregivers despite working outside the home. She brings in some interesting data, but her concluding sentence stating that for the foreseeable future women will remain the “second sex” is slightly disturbing and harsh. She’s forgetting we live in America, a developed country, and that men and women are supposed to be striving to be equal sexes. Her thought that women are the “second sex” is quite narrow-minded.

      Your argument that if women want more representation in Congress, more women should run? It’s not that simple. Candidates need a team to back them, and if women hoping to run do not have people backing them, then they won’t be elected into office, let alone run. This article breaks down the issue, and what is done in other countries with more female representation in the government:


      By the way, the United States is 98th in the world for equal representation of both genders in national legislature, if that says anything about how we’re doing as a nation compared to other countries.

      I don’t watch MSNBC. I watch CNN and read other publications online for my news, because I don’t like sticking to one news outlet. I prefer to read many sources to develop a more broad understanding of events instead of a biased or misinformed one.

      Fox News is incredibly biased. While I understand that some people want to watch news that biased towards their beliefs, they are biased in their reporting as well. They flat-out lie to their audiences and misinterpret facts. While most news stations have inherent bias, Fox is blatantly biased in the way they present news stories. I don’t know if you heard about the scandal in which Fox brought on guests who made up stories about “no-go zones,” but the lie was presented that there are places in France, England, and the United States in which all Muslims live and police the areas, places in which the police don’t go. It’s obviously not true, and reporters have gone to the supposed “no-go zones” and proven that it’s not true. But before Fox News apologized and admitted they were wrong, they reported this as fact, without fact-checking the information. That’s bad reporting, bad journalism, and sloppy investigate research.

      Lastly, I don’t really have much to say about the “58 million” abortions because I believe that if someone doesn’t want an abortion, she doesn’t have to get one. Simple as that.

      Thank you for including the article.

      1. OK. The main fault I find with all of the 24-7 News networks is they are all biased! Toward the way there audience leans. And they all lie & exaggerate some of their articles, because they are ratings driven, like all TV stations! So, they sometimes forget about the news & run content aimed at getting viewership. And ratings. I watch them all, They all have the good & bad….What is a fallacy about the pay gap is the 77 cents on the dollar! That has been proven false by several people. Yes, there is a pay gap, and it is a complicated issue. Some even say that women can make more than men, but I don’t know…In my line of work, the jobs pay by job title, regardless of who is doing the work.
        We never will know how many good people we have lost due to abortion! It is not as simple as “if you don’t want one, don’t get one. We can not murder someone else, and that should include abortion! Because 96% of them are done strictly as a means of birth control! That is unacceptable, and I believe men are just as much to blame as women on that one, because if there was no sex, there would be no pregnancies! That part IS simple!
        Have a Great weekend!

      2. I hope you’re enjoying your weekend as well, Dale!

        I agree that news stations all have some sort of inherent bias. I try to read and watch many different news sources to form an opinion that would be more informed than just sticking to one source alone.

        Well, the 77 cents (I think it’s actually up to 78 cents now) fact itself isn’t a myth. The problem is that economists don’t know exactly why it still happens. There could be many reasons that they have studied, but they still haven’t been able to pinpoint the exact reasons.

        I understand when people don’t agree with abortion, but it’s not a form of “birth control.” We have many forms of birth control available, and those contraceptives still have a small percentage of failure rates. I understand that people don’t agree with abortion, but they can’t let their beliefs limit what other people do when the abortions don’t affect them directly. And with people who believe we should outlaw abortion, they should keep in mind that outlawing abortion won’t stop abortion.

        Think about it: Did prohibition stop people from drinking? Have strict drug laws stopped people from doing drugs? No. The prohibition laws were short-lived because it failed so much with the speakeasies that arose in response to the law. Think about the huge underground markets for drug trafficking. It’s worldwide.

        Outlawing would cause the exact same problem. The stricter abortion laws has already started this trend. Women who need abortions are traveling to Mexico or even Europe if they have enough money. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have women get these procedures safely in America than die for dangerous and unsafe abortions. Outlawing abortion would do nothing but drive underground business for abortion, and in turn drive the abortion rates up even higher. That would be the opposite of what anti-abortion activists want, isn’t it?

        I don’t know where you came up with the 96% statistic of women who use it as “birth control.” What does that mean? Women don’t use birth control and get multiple abortions? That just doesn’t make sense.

        You’re right that without sex, there wouldn’t be pregnancies. But what about married couples? Are you saying that NO ONE should have sex, ever? That’s just not realistic. With six billion people in the world, when the population is continuing to grow, it’s an unrealistic expectation that people who don’t want kids should just never have sex. That’s not fair. Not everyone wants kids, after all.

        I understand that not everyone believes abortion is acceptable. However, I don’t think that that should limit the rights of people who need them. That isn’t fair, and outlawing abortion would do nothing but cause more dangerous issues.

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