My Resolution is to be selfish


Selfish. It’s a word that packs a punch of negativity. But I thinks it gets a bad rap. It’s all about moderation and balance. This year, my New Years resolution is to be much more selfish. I have been neglecting my own wants and needs for too long. I need to improve my relationship…with myself.

Many of us have been taught to think of others more than ourselves. While this is a cute idea in theory, I think we have to draw the line somewhere. For example, I should be making sure I have my life together before I bend over backwards for everyone else in my life.

When did I forget this important piece of crucial life advice? Somewhere, somehow, I slowly shifted in who I cared about. I forgot myself. I became too comfortable. Too safe. Unhappy.

As teenagers, many of us went through that cliche stage of life in which we had to “fit in” and cared too much what ours peers thought. I never realized how easily this can continue throughout life. Like, forever. Ew.

Even when I’m unhappy, it’s less risky and less scary to stay unhappy. If I’m making others happy, at least something positive comes of the situation. At least that’s my thought process that keeps me stuck.

My dreams are vibrant and numerous. Yet keeping them in my head and refusing to strive for them keeps me safe from the unknown. Where’s the fun in that?

Looking after myself first and being selfish isn’t something I should be ashamed of. If I’m not complete or happy with myself, that’s is who I need to focus on.

Making others happy is a way to enhance your life, but if you’re miserable, you aren’t doing anyone any favors.

This year I need to take some serious time to think about myself. And only myself. During the daily grind, it’s easy to lose focus on my own happiness and pay too much attention to what others think. If I don’t have myself in check first, how can I help anyone else? My thoughts exactly.

Sure, being TOO selfish isn’t any way to live. But I believe that everyone should spend some time being selfish, as long as you’re not hurting anyone. If you’re focusing on yourself and improving your life, how could that be a bad thing?

This year, I give props to you if you’re doing your own thing and paying no mind to the haters. Be selfish.




  1. Certainly, extending kindness and generosity towards oneself are important for a healthy emotional life; though I am not sure whether I would call these acts of selfishness. To me, being selfish implies a wilful and uncaring degree of denial or withholding as regards others; and I am sure this is not what you mean Rebecca. Reprioritising need not necessarily involve either selfishness or selflessness; it can simply be a movement in regaining balance, which is what, I believe, you are saying here.

    1. I know what you mean and you’re right that I am talking about restoring balance. I would never want to be too selfish, but I do think being selfish can be a good thing at the right times, and with the right amount of selfishness of course.

  2. I’m with you Rebecca, be selfish! Good contextual explanation of selfishness, and in this regard I think its important that each of us figure out where we are supposed to be in life, otherwise we aren’t really of any good to anyone else 🙂

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