Figuring myself out (I’m working on it)

Laughter is my workout.

For me, life is a daily learning process. I am constantly evolving as a person, and I believe that over time, I have hopefully become more self aware. Here are a few things I’ve learned so far in the time I’ve spent with myself so far:

  1. Writing will forever be my therapy
  2. I will never master the art of drinking coffee without spilling a bit on myself
  3. Or tea
  4. Or any food/beverage, for that matter
  5. Reading is my inspiration for future writing
  6. I may never understand the world, but I sure have my opinions about it

I wrote a blog post recently about how we are taught by society that we should want to find that one person to spend our lives with, but I believe that we are free to have our own life goals. That said, I have a confession to make:

My future self totally wants to find a cool person to spend my time with.

The thing is: People always say, “You should be happy alone before you can be happy with someone else.” This piece of advice totally contradicts the famous “You complete me” romantic movie theme. Which idea do you agree with? Personally, I prefer the first one.

In life, millions are searching for outward sources of happiness. The perfect job. The perfect house. Boyfriend. Girlfriend. The perfect body. The perfect outfit. Advertisements sell us the idea from birth that we need things to make us happy. Yet when we realize that our purchases don’t make us happy, what do we do? Buy more things. We grow up to be consumers, searching for happiness outside of ourselves. If we live that way, we may never be happy.


I’ve been guilty of believing that I need to look outside myself to be happy. I don’t know about your life experiences, but there is emptiness in it, and the emptiness can outweigh the possible happiness.

Say we have realized that buying things to make ourselves happy is unhealthy. What’s the next best way to make us happy? Relationships. Finding a person to “complete us” sounds romantic. It’s not. I want to be complete on my own. I’m still figuring myself out. I don’t have time to figure someone else out at the same time.


Dating someone in hopes that he or she will fulfill your deepest desires is putting a lot of pressure on someone else. Instead of finding someone to “complete you,” wouldn’t it be better to find someone who complements you? To me, that’s more attainable.

Society pressures us to crave relationships before we’ve figured ourselves out. Movies tell us that we are not happy until we’ve found someone who completes us (because apparently we’re not complete alone?). If we’re not married before a certain age (25, 30, 35, whatever age the judgmental person decides), we are pitied or scolded to “settle down.” All because we have been taught that we need to look outside ourselves for happiness in life.

Figuring myself out is a lifelong process. Part of that process is making myself happy. I can be happy doing yoga, writing poetry, blogging, reading the Hunger Games series. I am working to complete myself. It’s a journey, and I know I’ll reach my destination eventually.

I’ve also learned: The only time my makeup looks like this is when someone does it for me.


  1. The key to life is enjoying every bit of it as it comes, and learning about yourself and the world as you go. If you’re not learning, you’re not moving forward. In fact, you have no idea which direction forward is.

    1. That’s a wonderful perspective to have. I agree that it’s important to constantly be learning. I am always striving to learn new things and better myself in that regard.

  2. Perfection is found in the flaws. How can we be happy if we discard them, they are a part of life and us. Being happy is not the same as being content. But being happy on your own helps sharing that happiness with those you want in your life. If one is not happy they cannot share their happiness to make the other even happier 😀 Haha that is a mouth full LOL
    We never done learning that I found true after somewhat years. Each day in the mirror we learn something new. And that alone makes me happy.

    May your journey be full of smiles.

    1. Well said! That is true that there’s a difference between being content and being happy. To me, content means that we are comfortable, but happiness is something stronger. I’m going after happiness. 🙂

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