Are Soulmates Optimistic Or Unrealistic?



One of my guilty pleasures is watching Sex and the City. I find it makes me think about sociological topics and relationships. In an episode called “Unoriginal Sin,” the main character, Carrie discusses her feelings of cynicism about dating. Her friend Charlotte wants to find her “soulmate,” and Carrie feels cynical about whether or not soulmates even exist.

I have debated this idea before. The idea of a soulmate seems like an optimistic idea at first, believing that we have one person out there who will make us feel blissful and become the most important person in our lives. Yet at the same time, becoming too preoccupied with this idea, waiting for the one person to walk into your life, could distract you from paying attention to your own life. In my opinion, you should feel complete on your own first, not wait around for someone else to complete you.

Meeting someone to become a positive addition to your life, someone to make you feel happy, is a reasonable dream to have in life. But we shouldn’t look for someone to “complete” us. Shouldn’t we be complete first? We should be confident in our identities before someone becomes the most important person in our lives.

But how do you know if you’ve met your “soulmate”?

I agree with Carrie’s soulmate, Big, who said, “You just want to be with the one who makes you laugh.”

4 thoughts on “Are Soulmates Optimistic Or Unrealistic?

  1. I think whats required of two people to be soul mates is a level of brutal, crushing honesty and trust that most people are incapable of achieving because most peoples idea of a soul mate is the Sex in the City variety, which is why they have so much trouble finding one in the first place.

    • That’s a good point. We need someone in our lives who will be completely honest with us, and still show us the love that we want. It would make sense that finding someone like that takes time.

      • I think even when people think they are being totally honest they are still holding things back and hiding things, we all do it naturally but it hinders a “soul mate” type relationship because when someone finds out something you kept from them there is a feeling of betrayal that puts a wedge and a distance between them.

      • Very true, it’s hard to tell a person everything and be even brutally honest. We get used to holding things back, and that can definitely make it more difficult to find that “one” person to be with.

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