My attention span lately is roughly a half hour. I am unmotivated when my computer crashes before I can click “Save.” On occasion, I have sparks of inspiration that punch me in the chest. I run with the ideas, until my time is up. I then abandon ship, retreat, abandoning my brief attempts at clever blog posts. They sit waiting in my jump drive, unpublished and ignored.
Somehow, this post was shinier, smoother, and wittier the first time I wrote it. Technology isn’t usually on my side. And while blogging, it mostly isn’t. Time and my laptop have been my enemies as of late. If my brain is struck with an electric idea, it’s a race against the clock to creatively weave through the bits and pieces to sew together paragraphs worth publishing.
Usually I lose. My pace slows as I watch other runners breeze past me. I inhale and gasp for air, and jog away from the track. “Maybe tomorrow I’ll finish it.”
But when I return to the original ideas, the spark has already disappeared. It was short-lived inspiration, and no matter how far I reach, I could never find it again. My time is up, and I move onto the next great idea. And the cycle repeats itself.
My newest spark of brilliance may be the brightest idea yet. Why not post those unpublished blog posts? Why not give them a home? They are rough around the edges, they have not been fixed, but they deserve a place somewhere.
The following is a collection of my unpublished, unfinished blog posts, stretching back several months. Some end in the middle of a sentence, some began with good intentions, but they all had potential. Maybe I’ll finish them someday. But for now, here they are.
Unpublished Blog Post #1:
Copenhagen Zoo: The Reason I’m Losing Faith in the Human Race (almost published March 2014)
First it was the giraffe. Killing a giant, majestic, beautiful creature viciously in front of zoo-goers because the zookeepers were afraid of inbreeding. And now, when the zoo’s reputation has already been called into question, it has been reported that they killed four lions for similar reasons. Shooting giraffes and lions in the head because they claim they cannot transport the animals to other zoos? An unlikely story.
For me, I imagine a zoo to be like an orphanage. All animals come from different homes, countries, cultures, and childhoods. If they were humans, we wouldn’t be killing them because of our fears of inbreeding or space issues. We would move the people to other orphanages. “Our orphanage can’t accommodate little Billy, so we took him out back and shot him in the head.” If this is NOT humane for humans, why is it humane for us to treat animals this way? Oh, that’s right: our evolutionary gigantic heads give us the delusion that just because we are humans, we are somehow more significant and deserve respect, while animals don’t. To be humane means to treat humans respectfully, but I think this term should include animals, too.
*This post was my fury when I learned of animals at Copenhagen Zoo viciously shot in front of zoo goers in March. Apparently the zoo cited space issues, potential for inbreeding, and a lack of resources to ship the animals to other zoos as their reasons for killing the animals.
Unpublished Blog Post #2:
Like the Universe, Love is Infinite (almost published March 2014)
One of my favorite films is A Beautiful Mind. John Nash, a mathematician, uses logic and reason in all his decision-making. In a scene when John asks his girlfriend Alicia of proof that she loves him, she asks him how big the universe is. John says, “Infinite.” She asks how he knows and he says that all the data points to the universe being infinite. Alicia asks, “But it hasn’t been proven?” John says it hasn’t. She again asks, “How do you know for sure?”, to which John replies, “I don’t, I just believe it.” Alicia then responds, “It’s the same with love, I guess.” This quote speaks to me because when we find love that is strong, real, and brave, it is endless. There is no scientific proof of that love, but we continue to believe it.
*Quotes, quotes everywhere. I ran out of steam early on in this post and I started to hear myself thinking, “Hooow cheeeeesy” in my head. I stopped when I felt like I was going to hurl. This post was too mushy for my taste, and I was the one writing it.
Unpublished Blog Post #3:
Miley Cyrus: Attention Whoring Continues (almost published August 2014)
Last year, the lovely Miley Cyrus reintroduced millions of innocent people around the world to the art of twerking. She swung butt naked from a wrecking ball for a music video because, duh! Her song was called “Wrecking Ball”! Why WOULDN’T she swing naked from a wrecking ball? Pure genius! Also, professional attention whoring.
I wrote a blog post last year about Miss Miley’s antics, and I believe that, a year later, my theory is still correct. Miley Cyrus is not a little girl lost. She is not having meltdown after meltdown in front of our eyes. No matter what opinion you have about the girl, no one can argue the fact that she’s smart. Her controversial moves are calculated and played out perfectly, achieving record breaking amounts of attention (record sales, magazine sales, Twitter conversations).
This year, Miley did something different. When she won an award for Video of the Year (for her naked wrecking ball swinging), she sent a man up to the podium to accept the award on her behalf. She watched, crying as he accepted her award. It turns out that the man was Jesse Helt, who was homeless on the streets of Los Angeles. He discussed homelessness in America during his speech, which was a positive and intelligent way to raise awareness to millions of viewers. At the same time, it gave her some attention, too. Positive? Yes. Does it make her a saint? Eh, not really.
Miley also knows how to cause some controversy.
*This started out as the Miley Cyrus Attention Whore Sequel. The first post (Miley Cyrus: Professional Attention Whore?) was so much fun to write that I thought, why not revisit the situation? I didn’t quite make it to the publishing stage, but it was fun while it lasted.
Unpublished Blog Post #4:
Why Quitting Doesn’t Mean You’re a Failure (almost published October 2014)
Why are we afraid to quit a job that makes us miserable? End a relationship that’s going nowhere? Forget a one-sided friendship? I’ve been in all of these situations: frozen, stagnant, reluctant. What was I so afraid of?
I’ve always been terrified of change, of the unknown. Even though a job, relationship, or friendship isn’t working, I remain unhappy for too long. The red flags are in front of my face, waving all day long, but I sit down instead of walking away.
In life, we all want to be happy. That is a given. Yet when we are in miserable situations and know what would make us happier, (quitting, breaking up) some of us are cautious to take that step. Instead of running in the other direction, towards probable happiness, we chain ourselves to misery, in hopes that things will “get better.”
I have been guilty of this numerous times. For some reason, change is more difficult than doing nothing. My fear of the unknown eats away my chances of saying goodbye. My fear of being “alone” keeps me unhappy for longer than it should. My insecurity tells me to sit down and ignore the logic running through my head.
Three different situations stand out in my memory, and I’ll share them with you now:
1.The Frenemy: Several years ago, I had a friend who turned into a “frenemy.” Of course since we were in high school, drama was a natural part of friendship. But I’ve always avoided confrontation. In high school I was terribly shy and avoided confronting people who disrespected me. This “friend,” who I’d known for many years, became jealous and went out of her way to turn other friends in our group against me. Typical high school behavior, I know. But instead of speaking up for myself like I should have done, I stood by, allowing it to happen. I was the doormat, too nice for my own good. But the problem solved itself with college, change of location, and new friends.
2.Case of the Ex: After college, my long term boyfriend ended our relationship because of differences in values and goals. It was rough. I wanted to remain friends, but friendship is a two-way street. Friendship is impossible with silence on the other end. He cut all ties.
*Looks like I never felt motivated enough to explain the third situation that inspired this post. But I’m guessing this gave me some material for writing a post that I did publish, called How to know when it’s time for a change. At least some good came of this potential post.
Unpublished Blog Post #5:
Holidays and the single girl (almost published December 2014)
It’s that time of year again. Holiday dinners, Christmas decorating, and Black Friday shopping trips often bring about questions from relatives about your singleness. Maybe it’s the romantic snowfall, the frigid temperatures, and the need to cuddle up with hot chocolate by a fire that makes everyone want to couple up. And when everyone is coupled up, they expect you to be coupled up, too.
Even the casual Facebook scroll can depress the average single girl during the holidays (or generally the months of November through February). Every other post seems to be engagements, baby announcements, and wedding photos.
While throughout the rest of the year, there is the occasional reminder that many other 20-somethings are tying the knot or having mini-versions of themselves, those fuzzy feelings of togetherness come alive during the winter. This makes the gap between the Singles and Not Singles even bigger.
I’m not trying to knock the Not Singles. If you’ve found love and/or had kids in your early to mid 20’s and it’s your bliss, then more power to you. But us Singles can’t help feeling
*Here is one of the perfect examples of a post that stops in the middle of a sentence. Did I care enough to finish that lingering thought? Of course not! I do have to wonder about that sentence that will never be. Anyone care to finish it for me? I’ll give five dollars to th3bestidea. “But us Singles can’t help feeling…” Ready, go!
Unpublished Blog #6:
No matter what your race, you should be enraged at the cop who killed Eric Garner (almost published December 2014)
Watching the footage of Eric Garner being put in a chokehold by Staten Island police officer Daniel Pantaleo and taken to the ground like a grizzly bear by the group of cops is horrific.
Despite the entire incident being captured on camera (including the EMT showing up and not administering CPR to Garner while he was obviously unconscious on the pavement), Officer Pantaleo was not indicted by the grand jury.
This is shocking because not only did Pantaleo use a chokehold, which is prohibited by the NYPD, but the entire incident was recorded and shown to the grand jury, and the autopsy ruled Garner’s death a homicide. Yet Pantaleo walks free.
In the footage of the incident, the crime that the cops stopped Garner for was selling untaxed cigarettes. While Garner had sold “loosey” cigarettes in the past, on this particular day, he wasn’t. He broke up a fight between two young people, and was walking away when the cops stopped him.
Garner was obviously frustrated, but he wasn’t aggressive at all. He asked the cops, “Please leave me alone.” After that, all hell broke loose. One cop reached up to grab Garner’s wrists (Garner was significantly taller), while Garner pleaded, “Please don’t touch me!” as he raised his hands.
Pantaleo snuck behind Garner and put him in a chokehold. This clearly surprised Garner because he didn’t see Pantaleo, and the rest of the cops immediately assisted in taking Garner to the ground.
*This story still enrages me. At the same time, I am proud to know Americans are marching in Chicago, New York, Boston, Miami, Washington, and other cities. Racism unfortunately still exists, and police brutality does as well. Maybe the country is finally starting to wake up and listen. Americans are taking to the streets. We cannot be silent anymore. I am so proud to see that people are standing up and speaking out for justice.
Disclaimer: My computer only crashed twice in the making of this blog post. But I didn’t give up this time. Even though my computer was being an asshole (it is several years old, so I guess it has a right to be), I didn’t let that stop me. Yes, I see this as quite an accomplishment. If you take a glance back at all the posts that went unpublished, you’ll see all the times my computer won against me. But not this time.